How to Handle Mother’s Day after a miscarriage?
Thursday, March 25, 2021
Mother’s Day after a miscarriage can be a really painful day to endure. Unlike many other mothers, you will not be able to hold your child in your arms on this special day. Everywhere you go, you’ll be faced with reminders of the holiday.
If Mother’s Day is difficult, here are ways to get support and take care of yourself:
– Spend the day with your own mom, your grandmother, or another special woman in your life. If you have other children, try to enjoy your time with them.
– Plan to get together with family members on another day, rather than trying to participate in a Mother’s Day celebration that feels too difficult. Instead, consider making plans with someone who understands your situation and find an activity that takes you away from Mother’s Day celebrations.
– Practice what you will say when people ask you about your baby. Whatever feels comfortable to you is ok and ignore comments from anyone who suggests that you are not a mother.
– Share your feelings and thoughts about Mother’s Day, it can help to talk with someone you trust – perhaps your partner or another woman who has experienced pregnancy or child loss. It’s important to talk with people who understand that. If you find that you are having difficulty, you might find it helpful to participate in a support group or speak to a professional who understands the grief associated with miscarriage.
– Be kind to yourself and try not to beat yourself up, no matter how you decide to spend Mother’s Day, you may find yourself experiencing all kinds of emotions you didn’t count on. Do whatever you need to do to be okay. Avoid the big family gathering. (Or go to the big family gathering if that makes you happy.), let yourself spend the day in bed, take yourself out for lunch and a movie.
– Remember, it’s normal to feel anger and jealousy when you see other moms with their babies. Tears are ok. Anger is ok. These raw (and socially unacceptable) emotions will shift and become less intense, less painful, and less unpleasant as you move through your grief and see what next steps are right for you.
– Try not to over-plan what you’ll do on the day itself, you may end up feeling differently than you expected, and you don’t want to put more pressure on yourself to act like everything is fine if it’s not.
– If you’ve joined a support group or found friends in your social circle who have also gone through a pregnancy loss, you could choose to spend Mother’s Day together. Have a special meal, or do an activity together. Whether your goal is to distract yourselves or share your feelings in a safe outlet, other women who share your experience could be just the right companions.
– Volunteer and spending the day doing good for others can make you feel good about yourself, and keep your mind occupied